Friday Funnies

Lat week, funnyman Maxminimus posted a bit about online dating pictures and encouraged all eligible gals to meet him on Saturday at the Old Town Alexandria Giant. That clever Meg, at Pigtown * Design blog, had us all in stitches with her Photoshopped response...

Ole Max (my term of endearment "Maxie" has been decreed verboten) has been spinning fielding questions about his non appearance ever since. According to his PR, he had moi, AllieVonNightStick, "deputized and appointed as Chief of the Butt Police. Anyone exceeding the Caliper/Weight Ratio was turned away at once". What he failed to mention though, was that it was an Hermes nightstick. I refuse to beat women off with anything less than the best...

Btw Meg, are you certain LFG said, "home counting his Belgians" or was it, "home cleeeaning his Belgians"???


My brother Keith and his girlfriend Nancy were inspired to launch their own field test after Monday's post. The jury's still out on the validity of the tape and, early reports looking into Uncle David's "white vs. red theory" are proving to be bunk. We now suspect the shoe trick only works when one is in France, or attempting to open French wine. However, a special dispensation is granted to those owning an Hermes beach towel...

And, last but not least, my mother's forward du jour. Is this where I initiate my complaint about how many "drugs" my parents made me do growing up?

Kindness of my brother Keith Frost and his girlfriend Nancy Guardado for mentioning Babe's old Aldo shoe in the credits. Never mind that youknowwho actually mailed you the shoes. And, Maxminimus, who has bestowed upon me more nicknames than a gal could shake an Hermes night stick at. I'm collecting them like I collect Canforas...XXOO

As Swiper Would Say, Awww Maaan...SNAP!

Babe has been sharpening his skills. He knows I must be truthful so, he frequently blindsides me with, "what's in the pipeline Babe? I know some little lonely UPS truck is carting around thousands of my dollars as we speak." Welp, back to Sun Tzu for a revamping of my Art of Purchase strategy...

You see, I tried to reign it in like a good girl during my bikini shopping spree earlier this spring and, this Melissa Odabash Antigua number in Rose Flower was one of the suits that didn't make the final cut. I blame my residual Pucci guilt...

So, instead of being able to boast from my first class seat on the fashion train that HRH of Good Taste, Gwynnie, has MYYY Antigua bikini, I am now left scurrying to make the purchase post-haste and ride in steerage with all the other late comers...

I've got the scales out and I'm weighing...I've got GP in the Mel O bikini in one and wrath of Babe in the other. Hmmm...

Kindness of Babe who will take it easy on the gorilla interrogations. When one too many cocktails caused me to slip up in my time management skills Friday night, allowing him to beat me home from the train station while I was still sporting my hours old Glamourpuss Poncho over my bikini, I walked in to, "Hellooo Mrs. Roper, whendidwegetthat?". Ummm...ahhh...ummm...what'chutalkin'boutwillis??? XXOO

We Laughed, We Cried, We Drank, We Ate...

I had a whole week at the beach with my cousin Melissa, aka MAC. We laughed, we cried, we drank, we ate...

And ate...and ate...and ate...One collaboration led to the pairing of my much trotted out Barefoot Contessa Guacamole and MAC's homemade tortilla chips. Throw in her hubby Chris's famous Margaritas and there's the reason my lil piggies wouldn't fit into my lil Varinas the next day...

4 ripe Haas avocados
3 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice (1 lemon)
8 dashes hot pepper sauce
1/2 cup small-diced red onion (1 small onion)
1 large garlic clove, minced
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 medium tomato, seeded, and small-diced
*I add chopped cilantro

Cut the avocados in 1/2, remove the pits, and scoop the flesh out of their shells into a large bowl. (I squeeze the flesh out the way Gwynnie taught me on GOOP). Immediately add the lemon juice, hot pepper sauce, onion, garlic, salt, and pepper and toss well. Using a sharp knife, slice through the avocados in the bowl until they are finely diced. Add the tomatoes and optional cilantro. Mix well and taste for salt and pepper. I also toss two of the avacado pits into the dip and it truly does keep the color from going brown. Another nifty GP tip...

package of white corn tortillas

corn oil

sea salt

Cut tortillas into chip size triangles. Heat oil to hot in large skillet. Add tortilla triangles and cook, occasionally tossing til crisp. Turn out onto a plate lined with paper towels. Generously salt while warm.

Kindness of my cousin Melissa Cully Anderson for the yummy addition to my Mexican cooking répertoire. Those tortilla chips were theee perfect vehicle for Ina's guac. Next time we're in your neck of the woods I'll take you up on that offer of a crepe making lesson. They sound a smidge more Varina friendly...XXOO

Lilly Pulitzer For cocodot

I was one of the lucky Lilly posse of bloggers to receive a heads up on Lilly Pulitzer's très talented Janie Schoenborn's collaboration with cocodot...

I'm all about the online stationary and swear to being theee first person I know to jump on the Iomoi bandwagon a decade and half ago...

Annnd, boldly broke tradition this year with the pioneering Paperless Post Christmas card...

Humility? Moi???

Sooo, true to my first outta the gate modus operandi, I immediately whisked off my three free Lilly cocodot cards before anyone could claim beating me to the punch...

First to the bff's daughter Ella, for mailing me the coveted pink pig Silly Bandz, hopefully solidifying my rep as Mommie's most fashion forward friend...

And, then to our dear friend Lucile who is heading back to work after bravely battling breast cancer with more grace than either of us would have ever thunk humanly possible. And lastly, waiting in the wings with the delayed delivery option, is a birthday card for a certain DC Princess and fellow Leo. Shhh, don't spoil the surprise...

Speaking of all things Lilly...Kindness of the Preppy Princess who will, fingers crossed, step up her game and offer Lilly phone covers for us lowly Blackberry users. Why should the iPhone gals have all the fun? XXOO

MacGyver Sommelier

Last week my Mom, the Queen of forwards, sent all us usual suspects on her mailing list this video of some drunk Frenchman opening a bottle of wine with just a shoe...

Thank goodness this ex Girl Scout actually watched it and took copious notes. Some of us "suspects" found ourselves in a corkscrewless predicament when my cousin Melissa's three year old twins hid the all important tool from us drunks adults...

So, outside we all hustled with a shoe and the bottle of wine so as not to wake the thieving babies...

Hey, I had a huge amount of confidence going in...

I once witnessed my Uncle David remove a cork from inside and empty bottle of wine with just a linen napkin...

But, after about five minutes of us all standing around watching and growing more desperate with each attempt, I started to rethink those two day old Margarita's idling in the kitchen...

By now my Dad had begun heckling voicing his snobbishness concern about the rising temperature and growing foam of the much handled wine...

Maybe we need a harder surface? Besides, the cork may not be budging but, the door frame of the rental house is starting to sound as though it is...

I think we all eventually had the same collective thought; this bottle of Fetzer's one thing but, that bottle of Sancerre on deck is quite another. Ohhh neighhhborrrr...may we trouble you for a corkscrew?

Moral of the story? Shoes ARE good for opening a bottle of wine. They walked us next door when we threw in the towel annnd they helped stabilize the who's counting? next few bottles for opening with the proper tool...

Which, turns out, nearly everyone had in their glove compartment all along. Maybe we would have had our wits more about us if we had started this game pre Vodka tonics...

Kindness of my infamous Uncle David, of obit fame, who is researching the validity of the shoe trick with a little YouTube due diligence and a red versus white theory. I'm hoping to have his report on my desk in time for Amy's Fahrenkopf's birthday dinner. Mama needs a new party trick! XXOO

Attire For Your Books

This recent picture of India Hick's covered books reminded me of my wee library gathering dust in our storage unit. I figured, if I reran the tutorial post on my own handsome book jackets, I could have a virtual visit with my lil collection...

Several months ago, during an open house, Babe and I seized the opportunity for a peek-see inside one of the homes we had been stalking admiring down the street...

I became instantly obsessed with the beautiful vellum they had covering their books and the following morning slipped their cleaning lady a properly written note begging for insider info regarding the materials used. I was thrilled when one of the men of the house called me within minutes of my covert operation and generously gave up his trade secret...

My little project would require an X-Acto knife, a cutting mat and a 36" ruler for cutting precise lines...

And, rolls and rolls of vellum all of which were found at Pearl Paint...

My new acquaintance Paul was lucky enough to have one of his assistant's in NYC do all the labor. I, on the other hand, could not keep my help from laying down on the job...

So I called on my old high school book covering talents (minus the doodles of polo ponies and Madison Clark's initials) to get the job done...

I won't lie, it took me weeeeks...

And, naturally the effect was much more striking in Paul and Eric's floor to ceiling built-ins...

But, it dressed up our little Parsons shelf perfectly. And, all my toiling has paid off in compliments and drools received from friends and guests alike...

Kindness of Paul Sinclair and Eric Berthold for so generously sharing their design secret. Fingers crossed my pretty covers are holding up well in their storage unit. Hold on tight my lil books, Mummy will hopefully be retrieving you shortly...XXOO

Glamourpuss NYC

Last week's gold strike in my Hampton's Magazine was this pic of the gorgeous Gigi Mortimer wearing a Glamourpuss NYC Beach Poncho of her own design...

Glamourpuss...Glamourpuss...where have I heard that company before and how am I just hearing of these gorgeous Ponchos?

Well, after a little navigating around the Glamourpuss site, including the muy importante shopping cart, I found my answer when I spied my very own "Summer is a Verb" blog listed under Press. Little ole moi??? Nope. Turns out I can't take the credit since it was Meg Carter's Christmas wish list that had the Glamourpuss fur funnel on it...

K, mystery solved and Meg's good taste solidified. Now, back to that all important shopping cart and the above Beach Poncho Pink...

Kindness of Toad of To The Manor Born blog for sweetly delivering the news of my recent New York Times Magazine mention as soon as it hit the presses. What a fabulous piece of news to open on one's Crackberry first thing in the morn. Merci Toad, merci...XXOO

Pearls Are This Girl's Best Friend

My friend Jane, whom I have known since grade school, once said, "Alice...you never could decide whether it was gonna be diamonds or pearls." That speaks more to my C.Z.Guest yin versus my Pam Anderson yang and, less to my taste in jewels. In that case, it's pearls all the way...

I used to have the requisite triple strand of Carole Lee pearls in my early twenties but, the older and wiser me is more inclined toward the grownup and modern Sissy Yates Calliope statement...

Or, the demure, ladylike Lizzie by KEP Designs...

Naaah, I'm more of a hint of spunk with the pink tulip toggle kind of gal...

But, one thing's for darn sure. I WILL be getting the Meg Carter keishe pearl and shell Deauville necklace as soon as it becomes available in October. But, hark! Meg has sent an offer from the shores of Nantucket. She has a limited offering, releasing eight of these beauties to become available now, for some trigger finger worthy Summer is a Verb readers. The cost will be $240 and would ship by July 30th. Please email Meg tout de suite to become one of the privileged fasionistas...

And, by now, y'all know how I roll. If I'm already spending the cost shipping I may as well reserve shotgun seating for these soon to debut MC pearl and lapis studs...

Kindness of Meg Carter for making the Deauville pearl necklace available now for Kimba and me my loyal preppy peeps. Personally, I've got a few cashmere sweaters chomping at the bit to be paired with this lil number come fall. Ohhh what a dirty word that "fall"...XXOO

Luna & Lola

I never close my Hamptons Magazine without having acquired some, as Gwynnie P would say, important "make, go, get, do, be, or see" tidbit. A couple of weeks ago it was Priscilla Rattazzi's Luna & Lola book...

A photographic memoir of Luna the Golden Retriever and Lola the Dachshund...

A "charismatic duo" who were also the privileged grandcanines of the late Susanna Agnelli...

And, the best of friends...

I highly suspect there is some heartbreak within this beautiful tale...

But, what furry soul's journey on this earth would be complete without a lesson in love for us two legged pupils...

Kindness of Pilgie who will give his Mama lots of kisses and loving during her initial reading of this book. I foresee lotsa salty discharge...XXOO