The Switch

Last week we turned the corner and, it's all downhill to summer...

We packed up the velvet Belgies...

And, de-ribboned the summer kicks...

It was goodbye winter cashmere and cold weather running tights...

And, hellooo pastels and silks...

A brief intermission to take note of finding the perfect spot on the Hermès altar for the iomoi brass monkey guy I've been eyeing for holding Babe's watch and rings...

Then, back to swapping out cords and khakis...

For Lilly's and Skinny's...

Pulling out the bikinis and cover-ups still reeking of Coppertone and sea...

And, a much cheerier scene on the drying rack...

I'd say, see ya next season Thomas Mason addiction but, I have a feeling there'll be the occasional raid through May...

After that, we'll have some tan flesh that needs exposing...

Kindness of Pilgie and Lolly for being great li'l helpers, Thomas Jefferson for pioneering the whole winter/summer closet idea and, Babe, for understanding that buying something for his benefit doesn't count as a purchase no matter how cute I happen to think it is...XXOO

Summer Is A Verbomercial

scene opens at 7am with a vacationing Babe groggily emerging from the bedroom to find me steam vac-ing the kitchen floor...

Moi: pppSSSHHHHHHhhhh... pppSSSHHHHHHhhhh...

Babe: WHAAAT. is that thing???

Moi: (très cheery) That's my new Shark! I looove it!

Moi: (still cheery in A Stepford kind of way) Kimba got one too!

Babe: Okaaayyy...

Moi: It's sooo much better for the Ti-Babes cuz you don't use any chemicals, just water

Babe: Mmmmhmmmm...how much?

Moi: NotthatmuchcuzIgotitatBedBath&Beyondusingmy20%offcoupon. (shifting back to my sales pitch mode) And it gets the floor so clean I could lick it!
Babe: Please don't

Kindness of Kimba for introducing me to the Shark. I wasn't the ooonly one enamored enough to wax on about licking her clean floor...XXOO

Exit Martyr Stage Left

While some of us are relaxing to the sounds of the surf...

Indulging in the salty, summer evening air...

The rest of us are stuck inside with residual piper paying in the form of a heap of ironing that we foolishly guiltily offered to start doing ourselves after May's spreadsheetgate...

This martyr routine has done run it's course! Genevieve, you are hereby, officially RE hired. Either that, or I'm only wearing non-ironables for the rest o' the summer...

Kindness of moi for remembering that, from here on out, I should confine all martyr routines to short runs. Take the stage, give the performance of a lifetime, accept the Tony, take a bow, then immediately exit stage left...XXOO

Rabbit Rabbit!

Rabbit, rabbit! First day of a new month, first day of new resolve...

I had good reason to hold my stomach on the Ferris Wheel Saturday night...

I'd done quite a bit on overindulging during our annual boardwalk jaunt...

And, that doesn't include the peach martini I had en route...

Norrr the pit stop at the Greek Festival where I polished off an entire serving of Loukoumades doused in powdered sugar, cinnamon, and some kinda crushed nut, all floating in a scrumdillyicious pool of honey. OR the multiple sips of Babe's milk shake OR the Thrasher's french fries...

Yup. Rabbit, rabbit! I'll take my month's end gift in the form of a Butt Police pass while I make up for this past weekend's tour of gluttony s'il vous plait...

Kindness of Babe who will please save me from myself next weekend. No sweets, no matter how much I whine! Exxxcept for maybe just a weensie sliver of cake. I mean, it'll be our anniversay and it would probably be bad luck or something if I didn't have just a smidge...XXOO

Delusions of Hair Grandeur

Okay, so I could easily stick to my hair growing resolve over the next couple of years if I was guaranteed this end result. But, I saw a dime store version of this exact head o' hair in the Food Lion last night that made my toes curl and forced me to suppress a hiss. Do I too have delusions of long hair grandeur?

Maybe, if I break it down in stages, encouraging outside interventions along the way in case I also start to veer dangerously close to eliciting hisses...

And, maybe Patti Hansen bangs would afford me a mid-growth handicap...

Or, maybe I should cut my losses now and scamper back to the comfort and warmth of my Gwynnie P Sliding Doors safe place...

Better yet...I could refuuuse to cut my hair, kinda like someone fasting in protest, til I receive my VC&A Vintage Alhambra earrings. In mother of pearl and gold just in case anybody should be taking notes...

Kindness of blessed summertime, which affords me most days spent in and out of the ocean and on the beach sportin' a salt encrusted Simba/Capt'n Crunch doo (depending if the wind's outta the North or South), which makes this long vs short debate a temporarily moot point. My hair OCD summer hiatus...XXOO

Pic Roulette

I hardly ever post pics of myself for two reasons; one, it makes an always traveling Babe très nervous and two, I am theee most critical person alive...

11pm July 4
Moi: Omg, I haven't done a post for tomorrow!
Babe: Just throw up a pic from last night.
Moi: Really? Alrighttt sirrrr...

Moi: How about this one? thinking, tan arm, check. blond hair, check.
Babe: No. Looks weird cuz you're taking a picture...

Babe: How about this one with you and Kimba, that's a really good one.
Moi: OmgIneedafacelift
Babe: You said you'd never get one cuz people can always tell when someone's had one and talk about it behind their back.
Moi: Welllll, right now they're talking behind my back about how I NEED one...

Babe: Okay then, what about this one?
Moi: GASP! With the horse face???

Moi: I'm starting to think I should go faceless...

Babe: Oh, this is the one. Use this.
Moi: I look like I need a hair intervention! Great. A mane to go with my horse face.
Babe: Come on, your hair looks great. It's super summery.
Moi: Oh, it's super somethin'...

groan...How about we just put up this pic of you? You always look gorg...

Babe: Nope. This is the one. Lobster, blond hair. Great summer shot.
Moi: defeated Where's that stunt double Lolly when ya need her?

Cut to a pastywhitenpackiningonthewinterinsulation moi longingly looking at these same pics six months from now...Oh maaaaan, look how tan and skinny I looked last summer. Wish I looked like that now...

Kindness of a blind as a bat Babe who will never, EVER get Lasik eye surgery...XXOO

All Polished Up For Summer

'Twas that time o' year again...

Time to spring clean all my gold jewelry with soap, warm water and a soft brush...

And, polish the dickens outta my sterling...

All the better to see against summer bronzed skin my dear...

Then it was manically on to all my Mason Pearson brushes and combs annnd eventually sunglasses...

The cleaning mania continued très early the next morn when I whisked away the watch, belt buckle and money clip of a didn't arrive home from Greenwich til after midnight sleeping Babe for some serious deep cleaning over tea...

Stress caused by reading of wife's recent purchasing sprees on her blog each day while faaaar from home + sterling = beaucoup amounts of tarnish...

Kindness of Babe who is always genuinely appreciative when I make his loot all clean and sparkly too. Kinda balances out the purchasing spree crimes dontcha think? XXOO

One Pot, Two Pot, Looks Like New Pot

When I arrived at my parent's for Easter dinz, along with an All-Clad skillet they needed to borrow, my father immediately whisked it away to the sink and moments later held up what looked like a brand new pot. All thoughts of buttercream were temporarily replaced with the magic of Bar Keepers Friend...

This was just as exciting as the time I discovered Goo Gone...

And, nooobody likes things Spic 'n Span clean like moi sooo, the very next day, my task that began with one pot...

Led to two pots...

Led to four then more...

Now they ALL look like new pots...

Even passing inspection by Le Commandant...

And, although I gave it a valiant effort, along with tooons of tennis elbow grease...

My Bar Keepers Friend could not resurrect the Simplex English Whistling Teapot I recently offed when I forgot to put water in before boiling. I think it may be time to plan the funeral...

Kindness of my Dad for my new Bar Kepper's Friend OCD tool and anyone who knows where I can find a new Simplex English Whistling Teapot in chrome that doesn't cost as much as an actually flight to London...XXOO